Allure of the Seas

On November 29th Sylvia and I spent 2 nights on the Allure of the Seas. This was the last agent inspection before the regular December 1st sailing. We were a little late getting on board, so we had to rush to our cabin, drop off our luggage and go directly to our muster station for the lifeboat drill. We were in the Jazz Lounge, and the Blaze Nightclub, Comedy club and Theaters are all on the same deck. After that was over, we decided to start at the top of the ship and work our way down, seeing what we could before our 6 PM dinner in Giovanni's, one of the specialty restaurants in Central Park.

The top decks of the ship are where the Flowriders, Zipline, Miniture Golf and other sports areas are located. The Sky Loft Suite overlooks the golf course. From the Royal Loft Suite with balcony, you overlook the basketball court, FlowRiders, Zipline, Aquatheater and Rock climbing walls. The pool area is fabulous. In the bow of the ship are the adult pools, and near the stern is the kids area, with great decor and multiple pools for the little ones. The are multiple bars serving adult beverages. The Windjammer Marketplace dining area is also on the same deck and opens at 7 AM. Dinner at Giovanni's was exceptionally good...we ate "Family Style" with dishes brought to the table for everyone to share. The Central Park area has a few improvements from the Oasis of the Seas...ramps instead of steps to get to the restaurants, and covered seating areas to dine outside. Central Park is a peaceful place any time of the day.

Tuesday morning we started out continuing our tour of the ship. There are a few new shops in the Promenade...and there was a parade at 10:30, including many characters from the Lion King, Shrek and other Dreamworks films. The parade is held twice per cruise, so try to get a spot in the middle of the Promenade or on the staircases or you will have a hard time seeing it. Our Oceanview Stateroom with Balcony was fine for 2 people, with plenty of storage and closet space. The bathroom is a bit small, but they have moved the electrical outlets in the cabin above the desk, making them easy to access. There are also iPod docking stations in the cabins. The rest of the cabins and suites we saw are very similar to the Oasis, with some holding up to 14 guests. We went to the production of Chicago in the afternoon...which, although I didn't particularly like the story, (I hadn't seen it before) the production itself was Broadway worthy. Dinner was in the main dining room, and the service was good, food better. Sylvia then went to the Aquatheater for the early show and said it was incredible. The Allure has so much to do at all hours day and night that you will never get bored unless you want to. There are many quiet and private places on the ship, and of course there is always the spa. Allure will be sailing from Fort Lauderdale to the Caribbean throughout 2011, and space is going fast. Bring your family for a great time...there is something for everyone.

Celebrity Eclipse

On November 15th Sylvia Berman and I took sailed on the Celebrity Eclipse for a 2 night cruise and inspection of the ship. Our first impression was one of comfortable elegance. The colors are muted and soothing, and the ship is spacious. Our balcony cabin was a nice size for 2 people, although there is not much storage space...only 4 small drawers and a small closet. We then took a walk around the ship, starting with the top deck, where Celebrity's signature grass area is a peaceful place to take your shoes off, have a cocktail, and watch the on board Glass blowing

demonstrations. The pool area is beautiful...with 2 adult pools, and a fountain area you can sit in and play. The pool lounge chairs are comfortable, and it's not too crowded. There are plenty of places to sit in the shade or sun. And the pool crew was constantly available to serve your favorite cocktails.In the common area there is a coffee bar, a cocktail bar and a dedicated Vodka tasting bar...unfortunately closed for our stay.

The main dining room is absolutely elegant...and the food was exceptional.

The library is unique...it is open 2 levels high, full of comfortable chairs, on both levels. You can see the library from the elevators and looked like a wonderful place to spend an afternoon reading.

The whole feel of the ship is casual elegance. There are interesting designs, a good traffic flow, and it never felt crowded. The suites we saw were very nice, and there are family suites available. The gym and spa were also very nice. Celebrity Eclipse will be sailing the Caribbean until the Summer, when it will head to Europe for the season.

ASTA Study Finds Average Agent Salary is Less Than $30,000

ASTA Study Finds Average Agent Salary is Less Than $30,000

Post haste Travel Newsletter Fall 2010

In Memory of Lou..the best dog

My dog,Lou is dying tonight. He's 16, not in pain...just old. I actually want him to just stop breathing...it's time. But his story is one of love of a friend, a pet and a traveling companion. Lou has been with me through many incarnations. My life as a marketing person in Atlanta, my life in Florida with Post Haste Travel, and his life as part of my immediate family. But h e has many stories. When Lou was just 8 months old I started taking him with me to clients offices. Including Coca Cola headquarters, in Atlanta, to CNN, to Georgia Pacific...and plenty of advertising agencies...he was so well behaved that every one loved having him there. I brought him everywhere. When we went on road trips, New York City, Philadelphia, Washington DC,he was more than welcomed. As a matter of fact, and this is kinda funny,whenever we went to NYC, on the trip through the NY thruway and NJ turnpike, any time we entered a tunnel, he "ducked"as we entered the tunnels...We stayed at Gramercy Park...which he loved...we went to restaurants where he knew to hide at my feet so no one could see him..same with bars all over the country...since he's a black dog, he knew to hide at my feet,and the bar never asked him to leave.
In Texas we went to lot's of bars and hotels...and no one knew he was there. What a quiet and simple friend. I can't imagine having another travel partner that knows how to act in any situation.
My loss of my partner may not ever be replaced. I have always been one that includes my dog.
I don't know if Ill ever find another partner like this. Lou didn't get to go to Belize with me...he didn't get to go to Paws Up with me...he hasn't been on a cruise with me...but he's always waited patiently at home for me. He always new when i was packing for a trip, and he didn't like it. But he waited. And whenever I made it home, he was thrilled to see me. What is it about dogs that they understand suitcases? And as I sit , waiting for Lou to take his last breath...all I can do is cry for the memories of the best travel partner I've ever had. I don't know that I will get an other dog. I've always had one. But at 53, and having to travel often, if it fair to leave a beloved partner home alone? I don't know.I still have a 3 legged cat...he can stay home, and doesn't really care if we're here or not...but it's not the same.I Will post a photo of by beloved Lou and hope you understand the pain and fear I have about not having a dog in my life. I haven't made any decision yet...and it's not time to do that. If you have a traveling companion, that you love and have storied about...let me know. It will make me feel better. Thank you.

Places I've been

As a child, and through my young adult years, I was lucky enough to travel to different parts of the US and world with my parents and brothers. When we were very young, my mother would load us up in the station wagon and travel the Southeast, stopping at every single tourist trap there was. It was a lot of fun! Lots of “are we there yet?” arguing in the backseat! As I got older, I spent a month in South America with my parents, visiting Columbia, Brazil, Peru, and Chile, with a brief stop in Argentina. (There was a coup happening, and they wouldn’t let us off the plane!) I spent many years as a professional photographer, so my travels gave me an opportunity to add to my portfolios. I also spent a month in Europe with a business partner/friend, traveling through Bavaria, (Germany, Switzerland, Lichtenstein, Austria) driving the back roads and visiting small towns and the large cities. I’ve been to England a number of times, France, Greece, Turkey, Israel and East Africa. Some of this was business, some pleasure. My most pleasurable trips have always been to the mountains. I just hate heat, don’t ever really get cold, and I love to breath the fresh air of the mountains. I loved the Alps and the Rockies, and I do love to ski, although I have not been in way too long. I love wearing warm clothes and sitting by a fire, and the cold is so energizing to me. Then of course, there is Belize. I love Belize because of the diversity of the country. The mountains, rivers, archeology, the birds and animals really speak to me of a great history. Though not much of a beach person, the island of Ambergris Caye has such character and characters that I thoroughly enjoy every stay there. I do not snorkel, dive or even get in the water (very much) but the beauty of the island and the graciousness of the local people make it a fun, relaxing destination. Since being in the travel business, I have learned to appreciate cruising, and do short cruises quite often. Unfortunately, lately, I am so busy I don’t really get a chance to travel to distant destinations very often, although I do get invited to many places. Maybe next year I’ll have some extra time!

Guest Blogger-Cathie Inman-Clayquot Wilderness Resort

Jan Hammond (Travel Consultant) & I recently had the opportunity to travel to Vancouver and Clayquot Wilderness Resort. The first night, we stayed at The Shangri-La Hotel and dined at Jean-George’s “Market” at the hotel. After spending a wonderful day in Vancouver, we traveled by train from downtown to the airport (thanks to the 2010 Winter Olympics). What an EASY way to get around Vancouver….AND CHEAP! We hopped on a 9-seater Cessna seaplane to Clayoquot Wilderness Resort. It was one of the most exciting and beautiful flights I have ever experienced. We flew over the Vancouver waterway and over the vast wilderness and little towns that makes up Vancouver Island. A great opportunity for a photographer to go wild taking pictures…and I did!We approached the waterway in the Sound where our seaplane touched down into the entrance of Clayoquot, where the staff and owners (and dogs!) were there to greet us at our “new home” for the next few days. We were whisked up to the lodge by horse drawn carriage and welcomed with a glass of champagne with fresh berries. After an amazing meal, we were taken by one of the staff members of to one of 20 guest tents throughout the rainforest, boardwalk and lake. Lavishly appointed by antiques-bed, tables, lamps, propane wood stove, fresh wild flowers picked daily on every table, oil lamps and candles illuminating the white canvas tent with tapestry carpets on the wooden floor. I felt transported into the “late 1800’s” with all the 21st Century amenities…especially ELECTRICITY! Waking up early to the sounds of birds and dogs barking in the distance, we headed up to the lodge for breakfast. After another unforgettable Five-Star food event consisting of smoked salmon benedict and other coastal specialties, we were fitted with our” state of the art” gear for our first adventure activity-harbor seals, black bears and whale watching-guaranteed to see all 3…and we did…lots of them! After a late lunch (can’t miss a meal!), the afternoon was spent getting a massage (included in your package), hitting the sauna and hot tubs at the Spa.Then hors d’oeuveres and cocktails in the beautiful outside living room with a fireplace, where you’ll find a few of the 13+ dogs hanging out on the property,looking for a little attention or to come along on one of the 100’s of activities like horseback riding, hiking up the waterfalls, mountain biking, skeet shooting, archery, kayaking, deep sea fishing, repelling, picnicking, or fly fishing. You can even swim with the salmon!! Clayquot is committed to conserving, respecting and bettering the environment that UNESCO has designated it as a Biosphere Reserve. An amazing and unforgettable adventure of a lifetime that will remain in my “Top Five” favorite travel experiences for a long, long time!

Capital Hotel Little Rock Ar ~ Travel Mart 2010

Travel mart and more...

The week of August 13th - 20th was Virtuoso's annual Travel Mart, held at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. This is the time when 1500 of the world's best travel consultants meet with the world's best travel suppliers...hoteliers, tour operators, cruise lines, and other travel vendors, for 4 days, for 4 minute meetings with each of the 1500 suppliers that attended. Post Haste Travel sent Sylvia Berman, Grace DeVita, Arlene Feen, Cheryl Bechtol, Janet Rubinger, Jan Hammond, Cathie Inman, Barbara Stein and Fran Thorz to meet with the suppliers and attend the various trainings provided by Virtuoso to improve our knowledge and skills as travel advisors. We now know so much more about the great experiences available to you around the world, and have improved our skills for providing you with the best service possible. Even with the grueling 6:30 AM - 6PM daily schedule, we still had time to play, at the many cocktail parties and dinners we were invited to, staying out until 10PM each night. Not much time for sleep, but this opportunity only comes once a year!

We have shared the information we received with everyone else in the office, and Virtuoso's proprietary software, Composer, contains all the information for every Virtuoso supplier in the world, so we all have the information at our fingertips. Make sure to contact your favorite travel consultant when you start thinking about where you want to go on your next vacation. The holidays are coming quickly, and it's a great time to travel with your family, whether on a cruise, or at a resort, or maybe a fun adventure filled trip. We are here and ready to plan everything for you so feel free to give us a call...800-881-7690.

Summer 2010 Newsletter

I've just loaded our newest edition of our Summer 2010 Newsletter on to our www.posthastetravel.com website. This issue is dedicated to booking your holiday travel now. There are great articles from our consultants and clients about where they've been recently. some really great destinations with some really great ideas for travel. Make sure you get a chance to read it!

Norwegian Epic

Well, Sylvia and I are back from our 2 night sailing on the Norwegian Epic. There are some very nice things about the ship and some real problems, as I see it. Let's start with the good...

The food was surprisingly good....there are 21 restaurants on board, 11 that you must pay for, but our first night we ate in the Manhattan Room, which is one of the main dining rooms, and the food was excellent, as was the service. We also ate in the Chinese restaurant, Shanghai, and again the food and service was excellent. Breakfast and lunch are available all over the ship and serve nice breakfast food, hot dogs, hamburgers, salads, etc. The kids daycare area, Recess, is really nicely done. One of the features of the Epic are the single cabins, called Studios, that has its own private lounge area. These are going to be very popular with single travelers...the cabins are quite nice, and are only accessible to those staying in the Studios. The Courtyard Villa and suites are gorgeous. Again these are only accessible to those staying in the Courtyard part of the ship, and it has it's own pool, restaurant, and butlers. These are spacious and beautifully decorated and will be great for families traveling together. The spa is very nice as is the gym. The Ice Bar is small but fun, and the entertainment (we saw Blue Man Group) was fabulous.

Now for the problems...the biggest one being the design, or rather no design, of the "bathrooms" in ALL the cabins. When you walk into the balcony staterooms, there is a toilet"pod" on one side, enclosed only with a frosted glass door, that you can see through, and hear everything. On the other side is the shower "pod" with the same frosted glass door. If you are not traveling with someone you are really really comfortable with, going to the bathroom could be an embarrassing experience. We spoke with some other passengers that asked their room mate to leave the cabin so they could use the toilet privately. Same problem with the shower. There is a curtain that you can pull across that separates the area from the cabin, but does nothing for noise and really doesn't give you any privacy. And when you get out of the shower, you are standing in front of your cabin door, so potentially your traveling companion could come into the cabin and you'd just be standing there soaking wet...also, the sink is inside the cabin, and in the case of the balcony cabins it is just across from the couch or bed, leaving no room for anyone to pass if you are using the sink. Also, the faucet on the sink is very tall and curved, making it impossible to lean forward to wash your face or brush your teeth...you have to stand straight up, and the water splashed all over the place, making a big mess. ALL cabins have a similar "bathroom" layout, although the suites and penthouse toilets and shower "pods" have opaque glass instead of frosted glass enclosures, and the "bathroom" areas are separated from the bedroom areas. Also, the toilet "pods" are quite small, and larger people will have trouble using them...

Next big design problem...there are no pools on board. There are 3 "plunge" type pools that might hold up to 3o people standing up...2 in the main pool area, 1 at the rear of the ship in a semi-private area. These "pools" are 4.5 feet deep and are not suitable for any type of swimming. And there is no kids pool. There are a couple of hot tubs, and a huge water slide, but I can't figure out where teenagers are supposed to go to swim, never mind small children, although there is a cute area for small children to play in fountains. There are "misters" and fountains around the pool area, but that doesn't make up for the lack of any swimming. There is also only one bar on the pool deck and when the ship is full I can see that being a real service problem. The line to check out and return towels was very long, and the ship was only 1/2 full.

I felt very crowded throughout the ship. On decks 5 & 6 where the restaurants, shops and casino are located, you can only walk through the center hallway, and it really was crowded, especially when you have to walk through all the gaming machines the casino has placed right through the middle of the walkway.

All in all, the bathrooms are going to be a huge problem. We will have to be very careful who travels together in these cabins. And I don't understand how they could build a ship with no pools that can actually be used for swimming. There were so many nice things about the ship, but the topic of conversation we heard from everyone was only about the toilets....We will have to be very careful which cabins we will sell to our clients, and will stick to the suites, penthouses, Courtyard villas and Studios. We are very glad we went on board to see these things for ourselves, and our consultants will all get the opportunity to visit for themselves soon.

Wrap Up for Paws Up

Well, I am missing Montana already. The Resort at Paws Up is truly an amazing vacation location. Sunday morning we got to watch staff do a test run for a new ballooning adventure, and although they never left the ground, it was a beautiful sight. On Monday morning, I had breakfast delivered to the house, right on time, and set up for me on the kitchen table. Delicious as usual. My transfer to the Missoula airport was around 9 AM...the airport is really a throw back in time, small yet efficient, and full of mounted animals....bears, mountain lions,etc. Pretty cool. The most difficult part of this vacation is the amount of time it takes to travel to and from Ft. Lauderdale and Missoula...10-12 hours of travel. I'll have to find better connections for the next time I go out there, and there will be a next time! Paws Up has a great winter program that looks like a lot of fun, and I love the snow, so maybe then? Make sure to contact me with any questions if you'd like to go either by yourself, with friends or family. The tented camps are a great value and as elegant as the homes...although the homes can accommodate more people at a time. I am presenting what I've learned to all our staff at today's lunch meeting, so all of us here at Post Haste will be able to help you get to Paws Up.

Last day at Paws Up

Sunday was my last full day here, and we had a nature hike scheduled for 10 AM. Paulette (my new friend from ProTravel in Beverly Hills) and I got to the Wilderness Center after another great breakfast and met our guide, Dean. We went by van and were dropped off at a trail head about a mile from the center. We hadn't been walking for very long when I heard a branch snap, we stopped, and I saw a big black bear, and then another smaller, cinnamon bear....we were able to watch them run off for a few seconds and were thrilled with the sighting! The wildflowers along the trail were gorgeous and in full bloom. The weather was perfect for a hike, warm and sunny. We walked the trail though woods and fields, and at another brief stop, I looked down and saw some "poop"...I asked Dean what he thought left it, and he said, Mountain Lion...I'm counting that as an animal sighting! We then saw a mother turkey and her brood of chicks, and a coyote not too far from them. After 2 hours we were almost done with our hike, and as we waited for the van to pick us up, a bald eagle flew above us. All in all a very successful nature hike! I spent the rest of the afternoon reading a book and getting my last bit of relaxation of my vacation. Monday is a long travel day and it's back to work first thing Tuesday morning. I am very pleased with everything at Paws Up. From the electric vehicles available for visitors to use, to the no plastic bottles policy, to the extremely attentive staff, this resort will be highly recommended by me for a long time to come. Make sure to take the opportunity to visit this most beautiful "Last Best Place".

More Paws Up

Today was a Chamber of Commerce day...the bluest skies I've seen in a long time, temp around 75 degrees, cool wind. I got a book and sat on the deck in my bathing suit, got some sun, then hit the hot tub for a bit...my legs still were sore from my horseback riding day...then I did the most wonderful thing...I had a hot stone massage, in a tent, looking out at snow capped mountains. First of all, I've never had a hot stone massage, and I must say, it's the best massage I've ever had. And with the fresh mountain air...amazing. My legs no longer are sore and I've finally realized that I'm in Montana. What a beautiful awe inspiring country...I feel not only refreshed, but ready for my next adventure here at Paws Up...a little wine, great company from all across the country and even the time change isn't bothering me any more. For dinner tonight I'm trying the Bison...all the food here is amazing. Tomorrow, we are taking a 2 h our guided hike throughout the countryside. I'm really looking forward to it. See you then!

Paws Up Day 2

I really enjoyed the horseback ride yesterday, even though I had a problem with a saddle that didn't fit and my butt is really sore today! We had a great bar-b-Que dinner with the owner, Nadine, last night, with a jazz band, kids playing outside and really good company. Local residents also joined the dinner and it was interesting to hear how much they appreciated the local support Paws Up provides, from artists to farmers. The fireplaces were roaring, since the weather has gone from hot to cold to rain to sun 7 or 8 times during the day. I love it. I fell asleep so fast and as always was up with the sun, which here is 5 AM...oh, it doesn't get dark until 10 PM so my internal clock is a little screwed up. Today I am going to relax this morning, read a book and wait for my 1 PM massage...what a perfect was to spend the day. I'm sure I'll find time to walk around and look for animals. Yesterday I saw a skunk, a fox, a coyote, plenty of deer and ground squirrels. I'm still looking to see elk. Maybe today. The staff here is so accommodating, your really want for nothing. I'm looking forward to great meals again today. And who knows what tonight will bring. There's always something to do...or in my case, since I choose to...nothing. Check out my Facebook page for lot's of images.

Paws Up Day 1

My first night at Paws Up was so cozy...it's about 30 minutes from the airport in Missoula, and a beautiful drive. The mountains are awesome! They've had a lot of rain up here lately so everything is very green. Once I got to the resort, I checked in at the beautifully rustic main office, then was brought to the house I'll be staying at for the next 3 days. This is a huge 3 bedroom, 3 bath ranch style house, (think Ponderosa) with huge private bedrooms, bathrooms en suite, a massive fireplace in the living area and a fully stocked kitchen. The bathrooms have tubs and showers and great etched glass. Cocktails were in the bar, Trough, and on the deck overlooking the fields going off into the distance, where the horses were grazing. Dinner was magnificent. Brown butter for the bread, a watermelon, tomato, olive salad...( I never thought of that combination before and it was delicious) and the best elk I've ever had. A subtle red wine, and nice light desert put me completely ready to get into bed after my 10 hours of travel, even though it doesn't get dark here until after 10 pm. The bed is dreamy, soft, comfortable, warm, all those superlatives that describe my first great nights sleep. Today, we start with a site inspection that will take all morning. Then my horseback ride. I'll continue later tonight.....

The Resort at Paws Up-Montana

I've been waiting to to to Montana all my life. The Northwest is one of the few places I haven't been, so going to The Resort at Paws Up is really exciting for me. First, getting away from the heat for a few days will be marvelous, and I understand it's been in the 40's at night, 70's during the day. And I'll get some good horse time for the first time in over 6 months...and riding inn the mountains will be breathtaking, I'm sure. I will keep up this blog over the next 4 days and give detailed descriptions about the property, food, activities and surroundings. I'm sure there will be lot's of good things to say about Paws Up. Until tomorrow

Travel Agents Experiences funny stories

I don't know who these are from...I received them in an email...and even if they're not all true, they are just too funny to ignore. As travel agents we hear all kinds of silly things, but these take the cake.

Subject: US Travel Agent Experience

US Travel Agent ExperienceA DC airport ticket agency offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts .'' Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''. His response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried toexplain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?'' I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why hewanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6.An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' he replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'' After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting adestination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train toHawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?'' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh,no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.'' I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman ( John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ..'' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?'' 'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man. After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." ''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!'' So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?'' The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal..''


Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in! Could anyone be this DUMB? YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED. I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

10 ways to keep your figure on a cruise

A common concern for travelers is not how much they bring with them, but how much they bring back...on the hips and thighs. To help keep away the extra weight that comes with luxury vacation splurges, Crystal Cruises has come up with 10 ways to stay fit aboard Crystal Serenity and Crystal Symphony.
1. If you're not busy practicing your golf swing, walk or jog around the 360-degree promenade deck.
2. Opt for fresh fruit or salads at the Trident Grill. Keep in mind that all dining options are trans fat-free.
3. Instead of heavier dinner foods, dine at Nobu for light and healthy sushi or sashimi.
4. Book time with a private trainer.
5. Take advantage of the complimentary bottles of water.
6. Try an aerobics or yoga class.
7. Pamper yourself with detoxifying body wraps at the Crystal Spa.
8. When the ships dock engage in physical activity like kayaking, hiking or snorkeling.
9. Swim laps in the pool.
10. Rejuvenate your body with onboard acupuncture and shiatsu massages.